May 2012
52 posts
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I have all these Game of Thrones feels and I don’t know what else to do but to listen to The Rains of Castamere because Matt’s voice is perfect and refresh everything until gifs come out so I can reblog the shit out of them
hey there delilah what’s it like in T̲͚̬̬͈͈͋ͣͮ̽̆̊H̛̲̬̳̝͓̩̱ͭ̈̍ͣ̃̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕ F͎͕̄Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́R̸̴̬̂ͥͩ̂̏ͥ̏̂Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕Y̨̞̺͔ͪ̇͒̈͜ DḘ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕PT̲͚̬̬͈͈͋ͣͮ̽̆̊H̛̲̬̳̝͓̩̱ͭ̈̍ͣ̃̚S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ O̵̺̪͚͇͗́ͧ͞F͎͕̄ H̛̲̬̳̝͓̩̱ͭ̈̍ͣ̃̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕L̥̱̳͕͔͊͗̅͋͘͡ͅL̖̠̮̼͙͕͍̭͙̒ͫ̌̎ͨͤ̾̚
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The following quotations are taken from official...
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
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Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
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Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
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Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
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Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
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Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
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Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
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Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
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Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
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Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
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Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
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Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
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Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
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Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
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Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
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Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
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Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
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Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
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Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
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Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
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Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
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Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
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Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
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Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
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Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
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Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
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Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
digatisdi:
When I was in preschool there was this really weird system of time-out where they’d put you in this giant plastic bucket sort of like this one:
And the rule was you couldn’t leave the bucket for ten minutes.
In case you didn’t know, I was what the teachers referred to as a “difficult child” which is code for “walking entity of sass” so I was in the time-out bucket quite a bit.
...
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chekhov:
Every musical should have one minor character who is aware that everyone is singing and dancing and extremely confused and terrified
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methlabrador:
my little sister is addicted to that online game Club Penguin so today i made an account and ive been following her around in the penguin world all day and beating her in every game she tries to play and just standing in her igloo looking at the wall she doesnt know its me and she just let out a defeated scream from the other room i love the internet
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Thor: (╯O□O）╯︵ ┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻)
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Operation Mischief
the-rogstar:
sherlockboredfan:
If I’m not blogging tomorrow my family has murdered me
He gets everywhere
oh mY G0D
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sobrightoutside replied to your post: sobrightoutside replied to your post:…
WTF DID HE SAY THAT omg i have a season of supernatural to catch up to
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sobrightoutside replied to your post: sobrightoutside replied to your post: changed my…
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turkeyhammer replied to your post: changed my icon from a cat to a cat hehe
I SAW. I SAW THIS POST. DON’T LIE TO ME ABOUT NOT SEEING IT BECAUSE I SAW IT.
DAMNIT i should have known nothing can be hidden from you canadian ninja deers. UNTIL NEXT TIME THEN HA
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sobrightoutside replied to your post: changed my icon from a cat to a cat hehe
Shh, I care.
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changed my icon from a cat to a cat
hehe
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